so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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Religion.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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