If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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