Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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