What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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A bar walks into a man

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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