What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

thumb_up thumb_down +14

haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops