What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The cream, it is coming

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops