Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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WNBA

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops