knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

What's up? Your time.

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...