Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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Weaner

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Manchester City

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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