A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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João Duarte reads this.

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops