Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

Who is Dank? A: Billal

Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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