life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock The guy opens the door

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops