Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops