What happened to my sunglasses?

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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h

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops