Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Hellen keller

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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8=> >->-o

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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rent a cops

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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