What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Psychics.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops