Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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Your girlfriend.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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poopy is poopy

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Justin Beiber

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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