Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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