A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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just in time?

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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My mum is called Steve

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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