How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guest what? Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops