What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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