Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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