Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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whats worse than the holocaust ? ms.brinkmann? noo close....a black guy trying toget a job.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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