Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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What happens after you go to school? (you tell me, i'm only in 6th grade)

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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Women's Rights

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops