How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Lewis

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops