call me maybe.

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25.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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