Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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test test

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops