Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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poopoo

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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Women's rights

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Niall Horan

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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