Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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The Oakland Raiders

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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what has genitial warts? me

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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