Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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