Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What would Muhammed do?

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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your mommas so stupid she has trouble doing things an average person would manage easily

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Homo say what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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