why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Girls Lacrosse.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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