What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

8===D

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down -22

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats up with that? i'm from jersy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops