A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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I had a lemon. hi.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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Why is the ground wet It rained

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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