What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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Oh s***

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The holocaust

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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