A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

it was all Tagart

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

ring around the rosie ... your dead

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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