why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

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What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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