He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

Face...tastes like chicken!

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

What is the difference between John and John Nothing

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

A white man is running away from a black man. Because they are Playing tag. A gaming involving to touch the other person

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

38 studio's new game... Finance City

Oh my God! A talking dog!

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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