What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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