A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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What did the old man say? Im old

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Poker face

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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You sick fiend

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops