Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Joesph Triphook.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops