Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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I have read the terms and conditions

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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69

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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