What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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Santa isn't real

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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alex is cool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops