Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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2 + 2 = 4

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops