A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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Raveena Thandhan

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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