Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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