Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Homo say what?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

thumb_up thumb_down -31

João Duarte reads this.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -33

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops