The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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