How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops