How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

You idiot.

Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

Racial Equality

the canadian, the chinese man, and the black guy walk into the at different times and buy different things

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

Prostitution is bad.......

what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

Why was the man crying? He has aids.

why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...