why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Dumbledore dies.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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