Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

I was watching Fox news.

Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rober-to. What do you call a black guy with a big toe? Tobe Bryant

What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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