When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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kennah campion when she talks

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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Women's Rights

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops